I have ULCERS. One on the back of my lower lip, and another on the side of my tongue. I concede that it could be partially my fault, though. If it wasn’t the deep fried chicken chop I had the day before yesterday, the prawn keropok yesterday surely did it. Gah.
I went out with Amanda last night and had a lot of food with apple beer (which actually didn’t taste much like apple, but I take the waitress’ word that there was apple in it). Amanda had red cheery beer, which tasted like cough medicine, but she likes cough medicine so that’s all right. For some reason, I felt exceptionally hungry this morning, so I ate a sausage McMuffin with egg and downed it with a cup of Milo. Now I feel incredibly happy. I wonder if there’s any link.
Happy birthday to Amanda!
It’s a good day today. I have decided to start my day with renewed vigor, and finish the Japan section of my research by the end of the day. To ease into this I checked my email and blogged. Lala.
Ok, back to work, which I most enjoy.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
I am going to get pre-mature arthritis. My right knee has been making little creaky sounds when I straighten my leg, a bit like the sound you get when you crack your joints. My cartilage will soon erode to nothing. This is a terrible sign.
The thought of having no cartilage and stiff joints spurred me to action. I decided to stop all jogging activities, which er, surprisingly wasn't difficult. I also made a new resolution to swim twice a week instead, but so far that hasn't happened. I haven't quite carried out my grand plan of cycling at the gym either.
After several months of being too lazy to shop, I went out to buy a pair of flats, because I figured that my high heeled sandals were damaging to my knees. I think they are better for my knees. Unfortunately they also cause blisters, which is unfair, because the flats are more ugly and therefore supposed to be more comfortable.
Anyway some of my fellow interns were gossiping some days ago, which gave me new insight into the observational abilities of the male population. The topic of contention was someone I shall name simply as girl A, who apparently has a weird British slang and other interesting traits.
"Who is girl A? Is she working here too?" I asked, after listening to a long discussion.
"Yeah, you know, the one a bit smaller than you..."
"Is she the one with long dyed hair?"
"Er, I'm not sure. I don't think so."
I pressed on. "So is her hair long or short?"
"I don't know! I never observe carefully."
Another intern tried to be helpful. "Longer than mine, shorter than yours."
Because his hair was just a bit longer than cropped, this was not helpful.
"So does she wear specs?"
They thought for a while. "Don't know leh, I never see carefully."
GAH.
Anyway, never believe it when people say that females are more gossipy than males. They just don't do it as well.
The thought of having no cartilage and stiff joints spurred me to action. I decided to stop all jogging activities, which er, surprisingly wasn't difficult. I also made a new resolution to swim twice a week instead, but so far that hasn't happened. I haven't quite carried out my grand plan of cycling at the gym either.
After several months of being too lazy to shop, I went out to buy a pair of flats, because I figured that my high heeled sandals were damaging to my knees. I think they are better for my knees. Unfortunately they also cause blisters, which is unfair, because the flats are more ugly and therefore supposed to be more comfortable.
Anyway some of my fellow interns were gossiping some days ago, which gave me new insight into the observational abilities of the male population. The topic of contention was someone I shall name simply as girl A, who apparently has a weird British slang and other interesting traits.
"Who is girl A? Is she working here too?" I asked, after listening to a long discussion.
"Yeah, you know, the one a bit smaller than you..."
"Is she the one with long dyed hair?"
"Er, I'm not sure. I don't think so."
I pressed on. "So is her hair long or short?"
"I don't know! I never observe carefully."
Another intern tried to be helpful. "Longer than mine, shorter than yours."
Because his hair was just a bit longer than cropped, this was not helpful.
"So does she wear specs?"
They thought for a while. "Don't know leh, I never see carefully."
GAH.
Anyway, never believe it when people say that females are more gossipy than males. They just don't do it as well.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
One of my fellow interns sent me this. Quite funny :P
Lessons on Management
Lesson Number 1:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and Do
nothing all day long?
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the
tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer and who shot the turkey out of
the
tree.
Management Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize
how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and
soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Lesson Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along,
they
passed some people who remarked, "it was a shame the old man was
walking and
the boy was riding".
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed
positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes
that
little boy walk."
They decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk
when
they had a decent donkey to ride.
So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed
them by
saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".
The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry
the
donkey.
As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he
fell
into the river and drowned.
Management Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
Lesson Number 5:
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw.
They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting
for
this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had
already
decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why
this
discrimination is being made.
All the three of them had served the public.
Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why
the
differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre
conceived
notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English
test.
PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair
and
that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false
intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an
equal
platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN".
He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....." Tough one. He fails
again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance ; and that he would
not
take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?".
He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence
struggle?".
He gets nervous.
Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of
each of
the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Management Lesson:
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE"
Lessons on Management
Lesson Number 1:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and Do
nothing all day long?
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Learning:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of the
tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer and who shot the turkey out of
the
tree.
Management Learning:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize
how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and
soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Learning:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
Lesson Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along,
they
passed some people who remarked, "it was a shame the old man was
walking and
the boy was riding".
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed
positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes
that
little boy walk."
They decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk
when
they had a decent donkey to ride.
So the both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed
them by
saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".
The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry
the
donkey.
As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he
fell
into the river and drowned.
Management Learning:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
Lesson Number 5:
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw.
They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting
for
this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had
already
decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why
this
discrimination is being made.
All the three of them had served the public.
Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why
the
differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre
conceived
notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English
test.
PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair
and
that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false
intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an
equal
platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN".
He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....." Tough one. He fails
again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says 'OK', but this would be the last chance ; and that he would
not
take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?".
He replied "1947" and passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence
struggle?".
He gets nervous.
Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of
each of
the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Management Lesson:
"IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE"
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Hui Chu has recently inspired me to update my blog. I am usually too lazy to, but since I am trying to find things to do on an internship with not a lot to do, I shall do so.
For people who wish to know about my internship, this describes a typical day:
9.00 a.m.
Reach office and switch on computer (actually, it is an office provided laptop, but the difference is of no importance). Walk to the pantry and avail myself to a cup of Milo.
9.05 a.m.
Return back to desk. Computer will still be loading. Sip Milo slowly.
9.10 a.m.
A message board will pop up, telling me to press the keys “Ctrl Alt Del”. I do so and type in the password. Then I sit back and pour myself a cup of water, because the Milo is no more.
9.15 a.m.
The computer has finished loading. I double click on the on the Internet Explorer icon. It takes more than one minute to load, but I wait calmly. My internship experience has instilled in me the important value of patience. I also open my office email account, which takes about three to four minutes.
9.20 a.m.
I can finally start my work. I have just been paid $1.20 to do absolutely nothing. (I get paid $700 a month, which works out to about $3.60 per hour for a 42 hour work week). I go on various sites to read about Vietnam.
10.20 a.m.
I am hungry. I eat some Kit Kat and butter biscuits. (Today there I have prawn crackers too.)
11.20 a.m.
I am hungry again, but I am of Disciplined mind and I decide to wait for lunchtime.
12.00 noon
Lunchtime is never going to come. I eat two butter biscuits.
12.20 p.m.
I ready myself for lunch. There is a brief discussion among interns about where to eat.
12.30 p.m.
Lunch!
1.30 p.m.
I am supposed to be back from lunch, but I slack a bit and chat with Wan Jun.
1.45 p.m.
I come back and continue reading about Vietnam.
2.45 p.m.
I am now officially sick of Vietnam. I feel like eating something, but I am still full from lunch. I decide that I do not care, and eat a Kit Kat anyway.
3.45 p.m.
I am so sick of Vietnam that I start checking my email and surfing random websites online. There is a marked rise in the frequency of the trips to the toilet.
4.45 p.m.
The end is never going to come. I have nothing else to surf online, and I have not yet reached the point of surfing porn in the office. I eat another Kit Kat and go back to reading Vietnam.
5.30 p.m.
GAH.
6.20 p.m.
The end is near! I start shutting down my computer, as that takes a while.
6.30 p.m.
My computer is still shutting down. I can leave now, but I potter around for a little while so that I won’t seem too eager.
6.35 p.m.
HOME. LALALA.
This is actually a pretty good place to work. My fellow interns are nice, my colleagues are nice, my bosses are nice and I get my own desk. There is a nice pantry with a nice hot drink dispenser. The department also has occasional welfare activities, like popiah lunch parties (and I happen to like popiah). I’m not sure that a job calling for “independent research work” is for me, though.
I think that a wait loss regime is in order.
For people who wish to know about my internship, this describes a typical day:
9.00 a.m.
Reach office and switch on computer (actually, it is an office provided laptop, but the difference is of no importance). Walk to the pantry and avail myself to a cup of Milo.
9.05 a.m.
Return back to desk. Computer will still be loading. Sip Milo slowly.
9.10 a.m.
A message board will pop up, telling me to press the keys “Ctrl Alt Del”. I do so and type in the password. Then I sit back and pour myself a cup of water, because the Milo is no more.
9.15 a.m.
The computer has finished loading. I double click on the on the Internet Explorer icon. It takes more than one minute to load, but I wait calmly. My internship experience has instilled in me the important value of patience. I also open my office email account, which takes about three to four minutes.
9.20 a.m.
I can finally start my work. I have just been paid $1.20 to do absolutely nothing. (I get paid $700 a month, which works out to about $3.60 per hour for a 42 hour work week). I go on various sites to read about Vietnam.
10.20 a.m.
I am hungry. I eat some Kit Kat and butter biscuits. (Today there I have prawn crackers too.)
11.20 a.m.
I am hungry again, but I am of Disciplined mind and I decide to wait for lunchtime.
12.00 noon
Lunchtime is never going to come. I eat two butter biscuits.
12.20 p.m.
I ready myself for lunch. There is a brief discussion among interns about where to eat.
12.30 p.m.
Lunch!
1.30 p.m.
I am supposed to be back from lunch, but I slack a bit and chat with Wan Jun.
1.45 p.m.
I come back and continue reading about Vietnam.
2.45 p.m.
I am now officially sick of Vietnam. I feel like eating something, but I am still full from lunch. I decide that I do not care, and eat a Kit Kat anyway.
3.45 p.m.
I am so sick of Vietnam that I start checking my email and surfing random websites online. There is a marked rise in the frequency of the trips to the toilet.
4.45 p.m.
The end is never going to come. I have nothing else to surf online, and I have not yet reached the point of surfing porn in the office. I eat another Kit Kat and go back to reading Vietnam.
5.30 p.m.
GAH.
6.20 p.m.
The end is near! I start shutting down my computer, as that takes a while.
6.30 p.m.
My computer is still shutting down. I can leave now, but I potter around for a little while so that I won’t seem too eager.
6.35 p.m.
HOME. LALALA.
This is actually a pretty good place to work. My fellow interns are nice, my colleagues are nice, my bosses are nice and I get my own desk. There is a nice pantry with a nice hot drink dispenser. The department also has occasional welfare activities, like popiah lunch parties (and I happen to like popiah). I’m not sure that a job calling for “independent research work” is for me, though.
I think that a wait loss regime is in order.
