From the many SMS-es, it appears that many people are interested in how my job went.

After day one, I wish I could say something like, "Oh, I expected it to be really bad, but thank goodness it went better than I expected!"

No, it was more, "Oh, I expected it to be really bad, but it was worse than I expected."

Expected: General rowdiness, defiance, noise, disobedience, running around the classroom in a worse case scenario.

Did not expect: A freaky fascination on the students part with knives, gas stoves, and anything they could kill themselves or each other with.

You know what was worse? I could handle it if they were doing it out of defiance! The thing is, I think it had absolutely nothing to do with me--the common sense that usually tells you sharp, pointy, can poke very deep appears to be absent in those boys. Needless to say, the class was a lot of shouting, since the first moment they stepped into the kitchen, spotted the knives in a basket and immediately picked it up to swing it around, saying "YaaaHHH!"

Shouting worked, kind of. They'll put down the knives and about three seconds after you turn your back, they'll be waving it around again. One guy went out to another class with THREE knives between his fingers and got caned for it, because the other teacher spotted him and called OM. Unfortunately it was my responsibility, but I just didn't spot him because of the gas stoves. Crap, those boys are NUTS.

Worse still, I had to spend so long after cleaning up with a lazy kitchen servant taht only knew how to complain because half of them didn't wash up properly. As in, they did, kind of, only a lot of stuff was oily. And I thought it more hazardous to keep them back.

The good thing is, I can stop having practicals with this class. Apparently the office prefers it so. It is slightly unfair, I suppose, because really not EVERYONE is that bad...the girls were pretty nice, and one or two of the boys. But half the class is enough. Oh well, it's really too much effort though. ANd I'm a little paranoid they will kill each other and me accidentally.

Thankfully, after today I discovered that the teacher was right; that class was probably one of its kind. The sec three normal academic and sec two express class i thought today was quite nice and obliging, although they stoned quite a bit. At least that leaves me enough energy to blog today.

Oh gods, I'm starting to start relief teaching tomorrow! I just got the syllabus today...the head of department kept telling me that teaching would start on the 17th so I thought I would have the weekend to prepare. The three teachers for F & N all assured me that most classes were ok, although the normal technical class could be "a little problematic". And guess what? As Murphy Law dictates, the first class I'm taking would be a NT class, for TWO hours. Because I don't know how to teach the basics of a balanced diet for two whole hours, I'll be starting cooking immediately. Not to mention, I don't know the kitchen so I'll probably spend half the time hunting for cooking implements. Plus the fact that I haven't cooked shepherd's pie for a long time.

Sheesh, at least the NIE teachers get training! Now I'm thrown into this and I'm supposed to replace a teacher completely for the next four months. I should get more pay man, whatever the teacher is supposed to be earning. Oh crap, I'm starting to get this slight lost feeling of being in deep water and not quite knowing how deep the water is. Or whatever organisms there are swimming around me. Never mind, that's a bad analogy. There's a NIE trainee teacher coming in Febuary that may share my table. Imagine if she watches my class, hahaha. Exactly what do people do in NIE training anyway? They should just throw students in and let them die! Buahahahahaha.

I should have tried to get a better babysitting job. I'll play hangman with the class and let them ask stupid questions. Even teach if necessary. At least I won't burn down anything doing that.

Now I have one more thing to worry about, to add to my growing list: how to plan the lesson. Sigh. In any case, I think I'm fated to get this job, if you believe in all that. Not only was it delivered to my door, the teacher is coming back on 14th May! Which is just before I'm going to go to China, around mid May. I must look on the bright side. At least I'll get to eat the shepherd's pie I made.

I have henceforth resolved to go on a diet. The last straw came when my father said I was fat. That was after my sister said I gained weight, which was after Judith too said I was fat. My sister's later reassurances (don't worry, you didn't gain a lot of weight, just in the wrong places) wasn't reassuring in the least. It also did not help that I went out with Hannah and Grace yesterday, leaving me feeling rather short and inferior.

The worst thing is, when I mention that I want to go on diet to others, the answer I generally get is "ok", instead of nice comforting remarks like "what for?". I mean, I always say what people want to hear when they are fishing for compliments. Common practice and all that. So I suppose the fact that people just agree with me constitutes a Sign.

ARGH. I'm becoming a fusspot! This is terrible. I now find myself worrying about every single little detail about what I'm going to do for coaching, for cooking, for china trip, even for my social life. It's a side effect of too much planning. Because I am an extreme workaholic I discover that from next monday I will be working fourteen hour days from monday to saturday, some nights at times because of competition. So if I don't plan everything in advance, everything will clash, and I suppose that has spilled over. It has uncovered hidden depths to my fussiness. If I'm not careful I'll look 30 by the time I'm going to China. Fortunately I am still getting enough sleep, but unfortunately that will stop when my relief teaching starts.

Anyway, Grace found a job! Her great persistence in finding a food-related job has paid off and now she will find out how to make muffins in Grand Hyatt.

It has been four consecutive days since I have seen an ant in the kitchen. It appears that my efforts have paid off. I am never more sadistic when I am around ants and cockroaches. After I decided that I couldn't stand them any more, I bought ant poison and scattered them around the kitchen and the living room. In order that they will not be able to resist it, I also specially prepared a bowl of sugar solution which I carefully dripped on the poison. As for the cockroaches, I shoved some poison under the cupboard where they resided, so that they would be faced with it every day until they succumb to temptation.

When I saw some dying ants later I felt a twinge of guilt, but I suppose not a very big twinge.

For some reason, my wrists have been aching lately when I type for an extended period of time. Hence I have been subtly hinting to Hannah to buy me a Happy House keypad cushion. It goes something like this: Oi! Buy me a Happy House keypad cushion!

I hope she really will despite the lack of reason to, or I shall have to hint subtly again at someone else.

My parrot fish are either fighting or making out. They have been touching their mouths to each other in a very violent manner. I thought fishes don't kiss but they don't seem to be fighting. I have prescribed genders to each of the fish. The red one is decidedly male, because it is more passionate (in the kissing) and swims around doing nothing (in the fish equivalent of reading newspaper) while the pale one goes around arranging stones for home improvement. Needless to say, the pale fish is female.

After a grand total of about four days I have discarded my accounts book, which I decided was simply not my style. Financial planning can only go so far. It's bad enough worrying about money without worrying about daily expenses too. I will ease my conscience by worrying about money in monthly amounts.

It was yiling's birthday yesterday! I was half an hour in wishing her, because well, I didn't remember until then. I better keep better track.

My sister came home last night! We chatted till 2 a.m. this morning and I completely missed the alarm to wake me up for Judith's flight. So I didn't get to see her off. ARgh. I feel terrible. Plus I have a stupid bear sitting at home and lots of postcards. ARgh.

Anyway, my sister really is an anchor. I've been feeling rather listless and depressed lately but now I have my whole grand plan out for university. Yeah man. I feel full of life once again! I will have a career without scholarship. Lalala.

I was cooking dinner for my family today. When I was pouring the chicken from the pot onto the plate, a drumstick slid dramtically off to hit the floor. As I transferred the vegetables from the sieve to the pot, some of it scattered around the pot to be burned to a crisp by the gas fire. The eggs stuck solidly to the bottom of the pan because the non-stick pan suddenly stopped being non-stick.

At this rate, I'm going to be the most amusing home econs teacher ever.

I was reading back on the archives and I realised that I was so much funnier when I was moody and in school. It gives inspiration, somehow.

Anyway, since everyone seems to be saying it, Happy New YEar! And happy birthday to my sister. I made a startling realisation today: my spine is perfectly straight but because my shoulders are rounded, I look like I have a natural stoop. How sad.

I wish I could say I spent my new year making resolutions and preparing for a fresh start, but being the anal person I am, I was calculating my expenses. Money seems to be revolving around my head these days, for some reason.

My sister was complaining for so long that it was the warmest winter in Japan in 20 years and she wouldn't get to see snow this year. Two days ago, she got her wish, only unfortunately it caused the cancellation of her bus to Tokyo and resulted in her having to spend a hundred plus more dollars. Talk about Murphy's law.