My mother said she was contemplating giving away our parrot fish to my uncle so that she could replace it with discus fish or something. Discus! What a dumb name. And my uncle! The reason for passing on the fish to him, she said, was because his own fish were dying. And I said: precisely! How can we give him our fish to die. And you know what? I think his fishes are dying from STARVATION. And probably boredom. He has no respect for the intelligence of parrot fish.

Anyway, I told her that if she gave it away, I would go to my uncle's house and steal it back.