I had a major quarrel with my father yesterday, which ended with him slamming the door to his room in a huff, me crying in front of the computer while chatting with my sis and us carefully not talking to each other today. It's been coming for some time, I guess. Not that I'm sorry for it. Because he's not talking to me he's not grumping at me either. I feel rather liberated, actually.

I'm sick of his lack of conviction. It's bad enough that he never believes me to be as good as my friends because my standard is just my standard. Smart means smart, dumb means dumb, yeah, my quality is just there. Just because he doesn't see me studying doesn't mean that I don't, and the fact that my lifestyle habits are different from his doesn't mean that they're wrong. There's nothing more adding to your stress level than having a family member that will say "I told you so" if you score badly. I've been hearing his complaints for the last few weeks when he thinks I'm sleeping in my room and I'm fucking sick of it. I'm lazy and stupid, not deaf.

Worse, he thinks I'm wrong and I think he's wrong. Well, yeah, I probably shouldn't have said some things I did yesterday but he started it. I tried to shut up at the beginning because I didn't want to lose my temper, but he's rather like my grandma--keeps harping until he gets a reaction, which was me losing my temper. Ha, yes, I have a temper. I bloody inherited it from him.

And my mum probably thinks I'm deluded from stress and has nagged at my sister who is no doubt one of the reasons for my distraction. Can't she understand that if she likes chatting to my sis I would too? But it's ok, I had a long talk with my sis this morning and it buoyed my mood considerably. At least when two of us were at home the nagging was split evenly. Now it's just me. I feel stifled and lonely; it doesn't help that the As has guaranteed a lack of companionship.

Crap crap crap. Lucky it's math tomorrow or I'll be feeling terribly stressed.