Ok, my sis replied!

Chatted with her online yesterday but kind of daoed her...not very nice thing to do but I was irritated after a while. I waited for one hour for her to go online and she was researching other stuff so didn't really concentrate on our conversation. BUt its ok, meeting again tonight:)

I feel like there's a growing distance between the both of us, like what's happening with my cousin. I'm just not a high-tech person...I think will never really feel close or connected to a person chatting online. I'm a face-to-face kind of old-fashioned gal.

I'm quite glad I stayed home today (though not much of a choice cos I woke up at nine thirty with sand in my throat), after sleeping 14 hours I see things in a much clearer perspective. I shall get out of the depressed self-pitying mode. I was feeling like everyone's leaving me...my closest cousin off to AUstralia to study on Feb, now my sis to India and Japan, then Judith off to Australia too at the end of the year. Was crying on the way home last Saturday (I think I freaked out a few people who thought I just broke up with someone, cos I was like, crying and walking) because I just suddenly felt lonely. It was the thought of eating lunch alone that suddenly sparked it all off, I think, usually would eat with my sis. Called a few people to ask if they wanted lunch, but everyone's busy and I didn't want to make them feel obliged so didn't start pouring out my soul. Just missed having someone to talk to! As in, really talk to.

And I just wish my mum would get better. SOmetimes I feel like crying too when I look at her...she's been aging so fast since she's gotten sick. It's the constant pain, I think. Plus my grandma is sick too and she's the only one at home to take care, most of the time. On retrospect, though, we've gotten a lot closer these few months. At first I didn't want my parents to go off XInjiang or where ever for tour during my prelims, but now I hope she can go.

But now the gloom has generally lifted. SLeeping really helps, I recommend it to anyone who's in a bad mood. Things will get better. My sister and my cousin are linked by blood ties and years of being very close, so geographical distance is no match for that. My mum will get better, once doctors discover what exactly she's suffering from. OR with some miraculous fungi or something. My studies will, er, eventually get better once I draw up the mood to get my life in order (really, I'm irritated with myself--what's the point of going to school if I don't bring the right notes more than half the time?)

Just discovered that livejournal allows pple to post up comments without me having to put up a tagboard or anything. Ah but well, no one knows about my blog yet so that doesn't matter. Rather weird, Xuwen, since I thought the whole point of this is to let other pple sympathise with you. BUt well, its rather private so shall see if I want to let others know about it...

But seriously, I just realised the attraction of this over a private diary because it feels better to pretend to write to someone, even if you're not really.

Argh. My throat still feels lousy. I may be falling sick--AGAIN! argh! Shall consume more liquid than I already am. Maybe I will change the bedsheets or something; get rid of old germs.