I went to the optician's yesterday. To my great relief, my degree only increased by 25 each--I thought it was much worse because everything seemed to be getting blurrer and I was getting headaches from staring at the screen. Got a pair of new purple spectacles, and I've decided on contacts too, though that will come in june.

This has been a hectic week.

My fishes are continually changing their home deco. This time its really fantastic. They made the slope higher, shifted the log back (as in, nearer to the centre) and even moved the fake plant! At first they shifted the large pebbles under the log, don't know for what, and now they've pushed it out again to make a clearing behind the log! As in, they cleared this space behind the log at the left side of the tank of all the gravel, piling them further up on the slope, and they surrounded this clearing with the large pebbles. Its circular. This is truly amazing, I'll upload pictures if the digital camera wasn't in India with my sis. What's even more surprising is that their concept of design seem similar to ours (or did they take their idea from 'beyond'?).

I think human civilisation only started when humans started feeling safe and bored.

I realised that true friends are few and far between...and even then, the proverb of 'a friend in need is a friend indeed' does not necessarily apply. I don't think you're reading this but thank you Hannah, for being the one there for me in my darkest hour. Sometimes you don't need to have somebody there for you all the time, just someone whom you know who will help you unreservedly without judging you any less for it. Actions speak louder than words, I guess.

It seems like it is this period when I have decided on my life goals, at least, my goals in detail for my next few years. But I'm starting to feel rather inadequate...a feeling that started some time ago and fully blossomed now. I guess at one point in time we all have to accept our limits, that I'll never be as brilliant as some of my peers, and try as I might, I may never achieve the standards that I wish I could have. In terms of my looks, social skills, brainpower, fluency, etc. etc. It's because I want so much that the thought of trying so hard but failing strikes a deep fear, and the knowledge that I'll try anyway, because its all I live for.

I have decided that I will go backpacking to China like I originally intended, at least go somewhere, like on a trip to see stars or something, even if its just batam or pulau ubin. It is those things that build the most memories in your youth. Like my trip to nepal, camping trips to pulau ubin for star gazing...

Life is too short to waste away.